Newman: I mean parcels are rarely damaged during shipping. Jerry: Define rarely. Newman: Frequently. Jerry: Six years I've had this t-shirt. It's my best one. I call him Golden Boy. Jerry: You're not very bright, are you? George: No I'm not. I would like to be, but I'm not? Kramer: Yamahama, it's fright night! George: My father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up. It's one of the few things I do well! Elaine: Hey Jerry, when do you consider sex has taken place? Jerry: I'd say when the nipple makes its first appearance.
About My Gear
Elaine: A woman just walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on? She's a menace to society. Elaine: I think he's got ideas. Jerry: I wonder if any woman every said that about Einstein. George [about a massage]: I feel guilty about getting the pleasure. Feel like I don't deserve it, so I talk. It stops me from enjoying it." Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things. Jerry: It can't be the nudity. I never got into these terrible fights and misunderstandings when I was changing before gym class?
Elaine: There's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum. Kruger: Kruger Industrial Smoothing is heading into the red. Or the black, or whatever the bad one is! They just wake up one morning and go, 'Oh my god, there's a tree inside the house. Jerry: Do you really want a shower radio? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. Jerry: If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent. Elaine: I will never understand people.
George: I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. Puddy: I painted my face Elaine: You painted your face? Puddy: Yeah. Elaine: Why? Puddy: Well, you know, support the team. Elaine: It's very hard being a stand-up comedian. Sometimes they don't laugh. Jerry: Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. Jerry: When someone is lying, is it true that their pants are actually on fire? Jerry: Vandelay Industries, Kel Varnsen speaking. May we help you? Jackie Chiles: Rugged? The man's a goblin.
Mr. Ross: It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children. George: Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do. Elaine: Maybe the dingo ate your baby? Boss: Art Vandelay? George: He’s an obscure writer. Betnik, on the village. Boss: What has he written? George: Venetian Blinds. Jerry: People with guns don't understand. That's why they get guns. Too many misunderstandings? Jerry: I think he re-gifted and then he de-gifted and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Superbowl sex romp. Jerry: People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. Elaine: Is this going to hurt? Doctor: Yes, very much.
Kramer: I've been partying all night. I saw the sunrise at Liza's. George: What, Minelli? Kramer: No. George: I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. Jerry: Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex! Elaine: It's very hard being a stand-up comedian. Sometimes they don't laugh!, Elaine: I think he's got ideas. Jerry: I wonder if any woman every said that about Einstein. George: From where I was standing I could see directly into the eye of the great fish. Jerry: Mammal. George: Whatever. Newman: Tuesday has no feel. Monday has a feel, Friday has a feel, Sunday has a feel.